


Honest MythTake

by FairyNiamh



Category: Myth Adventures - Robert Asprin
Genre: Gen, Humor, Misunderstandings, Not Beta Read, POV First Person, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 15:03:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1945611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was an honest mistake. Really, how was it his fault he had never heard of it? No need to take his head off. Though, Aahz might do it, just to prove a point.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honest MythTake

I have to admit, of all the crazy schemes that I have been a part of; this one was, by far, the craziest. Tanda and Aahz were both sure that they could find something called a 'Rocket Ship' or an 'Arrow Plane' to cheer up Chumley.

"Where do we find one of those things?" I ask innocently enough as I browse the stalls. I know that the Bizarre is touted for having everything, but this doesn’t sound like something you can just to the stall down the row and find.

Hell, it doesn't even sound real and I wonder if perhaps my 'companions', I am using the term very loosely here, are not perhaps pulling a prank on me. Again. As much as I pretend to know what the veteran demons are talking about, I'm still an apprentice from Klah, who is more than a little lost and overwhelmed.

Wait, maybe that's the problem, maybe they are using the too delicate sounds for me to hear. "Guys, you know the Assassin's Guild is in the other direction. I'm sure they could help you find a smith for the arrow you want to get Chumly," I supply helpfully. Really, Tanda should have known this before he had to point it out.

"You said it would keep him out of trouble," Tanda said cheerfully as Aahz pinched the bridge of his nose.

The big scaly demon took a deep breath and looked at his traveling companion distastefully. "The last time I left him with Masha and Bunny, they started up a beauty pageant. Not just any beauty pageant, but an inter-dimensional beauty pageant. Do you remember all of the anger?"

Tanda laughed at demon and shook her head. "Yes, I remember all of the yelling you did when you had to return the entry fees and cancel the event. I remember you praising him on his business prowess and how happy you were that he finally got something right."

"In my defense I didn't know that it was a no go to do hold that type of event, or any event without a bunch of paperwork; and I still think the Bizarre owes me some money; since they took my idea and turned it into an annual money making event," I said in my defense.

"Okay, I agree with your last point, but because you did it without the proper licenses in place, you forfeited your rights to the venue. If you had only run it by me first, then we would have been…"

"Utterly broke and possibly dead," Tanda chimed in. "You would have demanded that everything be perfect. Not that there is anything wrong with perfect, but there are limits and you would have found a way to make sure no one won. Which would have alerted the powers that be and then you would have been ejected from the bizarre. You know they are waiting for just the right screw up to get rid of you. Besides, I don’t know why you're still sore; I won the contest."

Aahz hissed and flicked his fingers. "It's the principle of the situation. He trusted an airhead and a cheat more than me."

"Aww," the trollop cooed. "You were jealous. You were afraid you would lose your little Skeeve shaped doll. It's so sweet. Isn't he sweet Skeeve?"

I froze in place and blinked at her and then looked at Aahz. I just smiled and walked away. I may have done some foolish things back on Klah, but I have learned some survival instinct. (aka, There was no way I would call Aahz sweet, I like my arms where they are.)

"You going to answer her kid?" my mentor asks.

"Not for all the gold in the Bizarre," I reply honestly with a large grin.

"See, he's already picked up on some survival skills. Just five years ago he would have actually _said_ something. Aren’t you proud of him?"

"Tanda, you are beautiful, but you are also a menace. Stop picking on Aahz and let's get this thing for Chumley and get back home. You know how he gets when we spend money," I say warily. Honestly, we had only been out for fifteen minutes and I was already tired.

She wrinkled her nose at me and sighed. "There is a problem with the gift."

"What? We're not going to have a repeat of Jahk, are we? I'm not sure my heart can take it. I'm not as young as I used to be Tanda."

"Relax Aahz. The problem is nothing like what happened at Jahk. The problem in finding a place to put the damned thing. Storage fees for something that size will have me broke in a matter of months. Maybe we should find something else?"

"Like what? His birthday is in two days!" I plugged my ears and tried to look small. Aahz has a temper and get _loud_ when he's upset. Which is not conductive to many beings' ears, mine included.

"I don’t know. What did you get him?"

I swear, if Aahz wasn't covered in green scales, he would be blood red right now. "I was going to see if I could half it with you."

I was just minding my own business and shaking my head at the two demons in front of me bickering like Deveels over the price of breakfast. (That is horrifying and spectacular at the same time. If you ever get a chance to see it, do so… from a safe distance.) I probably should have put more distance between myself and the afore mentioned demons.

"What did _you_ get my big brother _Skeeve_?" Tanda asked me with narrow eyes. It's amazing how she can be both beautiful and terrifying at the same time. Currently I am wishing she would look slightly _less_ terrifying.

"I got him something called a 'gift certificate' to the Yellow Crescent Inn. I know how much he likes their food and this way he won’t have to pay for it for a while. Will help his tough guy image too. No paying, just walk in, order his food and sit. People will think Gus is terrified of him that he just _gives_ him food," I tell them excitedly, though my moment of triumph gets popped like a water bubble; when it becomes obvious neither of them have heard of a 'gift certificate'.

"Sounds like a hoax," Aahz said with a roll of his eyes. Yeah, if I wasn't sure he would pop my head off my shoulders, I would so roll my eyes at the pair.

"It's not a hoax. More like a contract. I give them a certain amount of money up front and they are obligated to give me back that amount in food. Well, not me, the holder of this card. Yes, it expires in 6 months, but I am sure Chumley can deal with it."

"Wait, you gave _Gus_ the money up front? What the hell were you thinking? You don't just throw money around like that." Aahz roared once again. Did I tell you that my partner hates parting with gold once it's in his hands? Surely, I must have. Well, in case you forgot, Aahz would prefer to steal gifts than to pay for them. Parting with gold makes him crankier than a dragon who was woke up from his nap.

"Relax big boy. Gus has never cheated us. I think you're just jealous that your apprentice thought of something before you did," Tanda said while winking at me. Then she frowned and deflated.

"What's bugging you Tanda?"

"You got my brother the perfect gift and the one thing I thought of, is a flop. I mean really, why did I ever think that an airplane would be good for Chumley?"

"Well, look you two know him better than I do. However, I'm just going to throw out that he has some books that could be replaced and he has so many in his room that… well, maybe you could build him a library? We have a few spare rooms and I think he would like it."

The duo stood there and stared at me in stunned silence. Which is not as empowering as I had imagined. In fact, there is something frightening at being stared at by two demons. However, it is infinitely better than being glared at by two demons.

"Now do you see why I brought him along Aahz? He might not be the brightest crayon in the box, but from time to time, he's brilliant. That is a wonderful idea Skeeve, thank you." I was delighted to make her happy and even happier still when she pressed her… yeah, best not to think about that. At least not, out here in the middle of the Bizarre.

I also learned where I misheard. Airplane, arrow plane… it was an honest mistake.

~Fin~


End file.
